Breaking Free from Financial Abuse: A Survivor's Story
Looking back, I can see the subtle ways financial abuse crept into my relationship. It wasn't a sudden demand for a large sum of money; it was a gradual erosion of my financial independence.
It started small. I'd pick up the tab after a night out, justifying it as his finances being tied up in his new business. I'd lend him money to "bridge cash flow," always believing it was temporary.
Gradually, our finances merged. My savings were used to fund our home renovation, his business ventures, and even his family's expenses, which I was completely unaware of.
When I finally found the courage to file for divorce, the financial abuse escalated. He denied the true value of our assets, claiming debts I had no knowledge of. Exhausted and desperate for freedom, I agreed to a settlement that left me financially vulnerable.
It took years to rebuild my financial stability. But through it all, I learned invaluable lessons about recognizing and breaking free from financial abuse.
Here are some red flags to watch out for:
Controlling all financial decisions: Your partner may insist on managing all the finances, leaving you in the dark about your financial situation.
Withholding funds: You may have to ask for money for basic necessities, or your partner may restrict your access to funds.
Sabotaging your employment: Your partner may discourage you from working or pursuing education, making you financially dependent on them.
Forcing debt in your name: Your partner may pressure you to take on debt, making it difficult to leave the relationship.
If you recognize these signs in your relationship, please know that you're not alone. There's help available. Start by educating yourself about financial abuse and taking steps to regain control of your finances.
My book, "Breaking Free," delves deeper into these issues and provides practical guidance on achieving financial freedom. But most importantly, remember: you deserve financial independence and a life free from abuse.